Me too!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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