Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
