Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
