Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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