he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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