If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
