did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
