Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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