Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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