What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
how does that bad decision feel?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
