I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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