are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
