i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
