I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
