she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
nutella sex= disaster
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
