you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
she peed on how many people?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
