a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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