My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
