Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I can't turn off my feet"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
