So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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