New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
