Will you blow on my dice?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
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