I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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