i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
