i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize