I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
