ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
