this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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