Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
