The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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