i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
