is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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