May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
