maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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