i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
