I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
