i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
