I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
it was like eating out sand paper
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
