No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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