i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Randomize
