so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
