Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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