Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How external is "for external use only"?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
