You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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