Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
