Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
