I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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