Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Randomize
