What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
