Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
