There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
