Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Bring me that man meat
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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