Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize